Thursday, February 28, 2013

Osage State Fishing Lake…Murphy’s Law Strikes Again

Okay, if you have followed this Blog very long you know that a “black cloud” hangs over me every time I go fishing or play golf.   Most people call it “Murphy’s Law” but that’s because it only happens to them once in a while.  To me “Murphy’s Law” has become a normal part of everyday living. 

In fact, it’s almost like “Murphy” and I are related…!

Take my golf game.  No matter where I hit the ball, if you can get a bad lie, it will happen to me…every time…no exception.  Won’t happen to anyone else…but it will ALWAYS happen to me.  What?  You say I should hit it in the fairway more often?  Really!  Now you sound like my golfing buddies…one of which calls me “Hit and Hunt”.  I am not really sure…but…I don’t think he means that as a compliment. 

Let me tell you how bad “Murphy’s Law” has affected my golfing.   Any time someone in our group gets a bad lie…it’s called a “Clay Lie”.  No really…I’m serious.  My golfing buddies have named a bad lie after me because “Murphy” has practically become my middle name.   

He is around so much…I’m tellin’ you…I almost feel like we are related.

In our group we have a “Jack Par”…named after my fishing and golfing buddy Jack (clever huh!).  That’s a term of endearment that means someone made a bogey (one over par) on that hole.  We have another saying…”Chuck Bounce”.  That’s when someone gets a lucky bounce (off rocks, trees, etc.) and the ball somehow ends up in the fairway.  That’s named after Chuck because he never gets a bad bounce…EVER…!  (We used to call him “Foot Wedge”…for reasons that need no explanation…but he gets mad when we call him that so…now we only do that when he can’t hear us.)    

We don’t have anything named after Dan because it’s hard to come up with a name for someone that always hits it in the fairway and on the green all the time.  He shot 1-under on the front-nine last time he played. (Actually we do have a name for him too but only when he can’t hear us…!)

So these are all terms of “endearment”…but me…oh no…mine is “Clay Lie”…yes, even on the rare occasions when my ball gets a “Chuck Bounce” and ends up in the fairway…I still get a “Clay Lie”…!

Well…Murphy follows me everywhere…even fishing.  This trip was no exception.  I was scheduled to fish with a member for catfish one evening on Osage State Fishing Lake near Topeka.  (Stay tuned for the next Blog posting where we do some nighttime cat fishing together.) So it just made sense to take my boat and film a Blog video during the day while he was at work.  Right?

Nope…that didn’t work out as planned. 

I wanted to arrive around 10:00am so I would have plenty of time to fish (and a better chance to keep my streak alive)…but…no not me…I get there at 3:00pm…!  Hey…not bad…only 5 hours later than I had planned.  Okay…no problem.  After all, I am the greatest unknown fisherman of all time…so what’s the big deal…just go catch some fish.  Right?

This was a Saturday…something I had not thought much about…until I saw people…not just “people”…a LOT of people.  Some were picnicking, some were fishing from the bank, some were fishing from boats, some were just running around the lake in their boat never stopping to fish, some were throwing rocks in the lake…WHEW…it was exhausting just watching everyone.

Took an hour to get the boat in the water!!!  Why?  Don’t ask!  It is a long story and not one I am proud of.  But…FINALLY…the boat is in by 4:00pm and I’m fishing.  Now I am at home.

Nothing else can go wrong…I am now in my element and all is right with the world…!

A short time later I tried to start my motor…it won’t start!  REALLY?  This motor has never failed to start…usually on the very first pull.  REALLY?

Okay…time to digress…time to be totally honest (Can someone be something other than “totally” honest?  Hum!)  Anyway…the motor did actually start…but then I flooded it.…the greatest unknown fisherman of all time…flooded the motor.  REALLY?

Okay…at least that’s it…there is absolutely-nothing else left that can go wrong.  Let’s just go fish using the trolling motor and keep the streak alive.  It’s a chance to show just how really awesome of a fisherman I really am. 

My cell phone rings.  

It is Dan B. calling to say he was off work sooner than expected and would arrive at the lake a couple hours before our scheduled time.  REALLY?  One look at my watch and I realized I had less than 2-hours to fish before I had to meet him.  That’s less time than it took me to drive to the lake in the first place…!

Murphy started laughing…really…seriously…I heard him.  He has a weird sense of humor.

Anyway…here I am…5 hours later than planned…another hour to launch the boat (don’t ask)… people everywhere, my motor won’t start and I’m down to less than 2-hours of actual fishing time on a lake I never even seen before much less fished. 

I am beginning to think that Murphy and I really are related…!

I will let the video show you what happens.  I will tell you that trying to film and catch a fish at the same time is much more difficult than it looks.  The camera doesn’t stay on all the time.  I have to reach up and push the on button…wait…then push the record button…all while fighting a fish and trying not to lose it. 

If I wasn’t the greatest unknown fisherman of all time (and a great athlete) this would clearly not be possible.  Certainly not something I would recommend to any of my golfing buddies to try while actually on the water where even a “Chuck Bounce” would not help them…unless of course you are Dan…then nothing goes wrong anyway.

Sorry…there is no “What We Learned Today” video this time.  (I say, “Sorry” because I know how much you look forward to watching the Hemmingway of Blogs).  But…I don’t think you want to learn how to deal with “Murphy” in your life.  You are better off not making him feel so much at home as I have apparently done.  You don’t need another relative like him.

You know…it hasn’t always been like this for me.  Come to think about it…my youngest daughter married a guy named “Murphy”…all about the same time that “Murphy’s Law” found me to be such an easy target.   Coincidence?   Maybe. 

Then again…now that I think about it…“Murphy” and I are actually related…!

Until next time…go fishing…catch a lot…keep some to eat…turn back the rest.

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